A Chapter A Day

The rat on the left seems a bit impatient . . . So am I. If you read the title of today's posting you may get an inkling of what I'm thinking. I am weary of my screwing around. The hell with it . . . What is so different with Misdemeanors & Felonies than any of the rest of my books? It is non-fiction where the others are fiction. So what? Why am I spinning my wheels and using the old worn out excuse of since-this-is-different-than-what-I'm-used-to-writing-I-need-to-take-it-slow.

BULL!!

This is the only kind of writing I have ever done in which I know how the damn thing is going to turn out. Never mind knowing how it will end, I know every little nook and cranny on the way to that ending. So what's the big friggin' deal? That ought to make for easier writing, shouldn't it? I have everything all laid out in front of me. I have all these notes I've taken for all these many years and all I have to do is string everything together . . . How damn hard could it be, fer christsakes?

Well, harder than even I thought. I kept saying that writing down all this . . . history . . . would be difficult, to say the least. But I have to admit that I didn't know just how difficult it would actually be until I sat down and began it. I have spent quite a bit of energy about mother in these early chapters, because the reader needs to understand the situation I grew up in to maybe better understand me and my choices in my later years. To say that Orean Bolton was a huge corrupting influence on me and the way I thought would be a great understatement. Looking back on it as I am able to do now I realize that I was not aware of her influence even as my actions were obvious to anyone who knew me. Now, of course, I realize that the choices I made, and the flights from anything which even faintly smelled of domesticity, was me running from what my subconscious mind thought of such an arrangement. To me, although I wasn't able to understand the implications of it, I ran from town to town, from woman to woman, in a headlong flight to keep from ending up with anything which resembled the "nice" family I was raised up in.

Misdemeanors & Felonies has taken on a whole 'nother perspective in the last day or so. I have been going at it halfass afraid of it. No more. This is my story. The story which has been lying dormant all these many, many years waiting for me to get to the point in time where I could write it. That time is now. But if I continue to go about it the way I have been; like it is something to be fearful of, the story will never be written. So yesterday I resolved I would not allow anything to get in the way of getting this thing done. A chapter a day. I know that probably won't be set in stone, you know, life has a way of throwing things at you to stop your progress, but I mean to stay as close to a chapter a day as humanly possible.

That is another thing. I feel okay. I'm not sick, except for this hell of a cold or whatever it was which has kept me down for over a week. Still, I am sixty-eight. That in itself is hard for me to understand. How in the hell did I live this long? Anyway. I could go out tomorrow. Or tonight in my sleep. I need to get this damn thing written and in the hands of the four people whose hands I want it in before that happens. It is important to me. It has to be.

NOVELS:

Write To Murder . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/956621

Margaret and David: A Love Story . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1072842

My Mother's Revenge . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1132742