FINALLY!!!

I named this post "FINALLY!!!" because after three missteps I finally figured out how to begin Misdemeanors & Felonies. That is not to say that I am writing my butt off. Far from it. I have been working on Chapter 1 for four days. Normally, when I run into such a challenge on a writing project I scuttle it, or at least save it on a disc to go back to it later. Not this time, however. I won't be scuttling anything, because if I don't get this written now it will never be written, and it must be finished.

I've always said that I would never change one damn thing in my life even if I had the chance. Of course that was youthful arrogance talking even as I grew out of youth and into middle age. Now, however, in the autumn-winter of my days, if I had the chance I'd change a hell of a lot of things. It is the erosion of pride that allows the old in us to understand that it was the not wanting to own up to making mistakes that made us say stupid things like we would never change our life if given a chance to.

Changing what happened in my life, however, is not what Misdemeanors & Felonies will be about. No, as you already know, if you've been reading my words over the past few weeks this book is all about owning up to my mistakes as I grew into old manhood. And the few times when I did some things correctly.

What I really want to do is just bog myself up in the writing of the book and shut out everything and everybody out of my life until I finish the first draft. I have done this before and it does seem to work. When your mind is centered on one thing and one thing only; when eating a meal is a distraction; when sleeping is beset by nightmares concerning the story and you have to get up in the middle of the night two or three times to jot down scenes and conversations and whatever, it has a tendency to paralyze you and ostracize you from society. It may be good for the book, but you tend to lose friends and wind up in divorce court if you go that route.

Still, if I thought I could get away with writing Misdemeanors & Felonies in that manner I'd do it in a heartbeat, such is my passion for getting this thing written. By April. That's my projected date for it. April 2, in fact, my birthday. But I couldn't make it work. There is going to be much too much heartache and shame within the covers of this tell-all book for me to allow myself to immerse myself in it completely. I'm afraid it would take over my life and I might not be able to extricate myself from it when it was finished. Either that or I would just succumb to the horrendous pain and agony about certain portions of my life and I would just . . . die. I am not afraid of death, although I do want to cheat it as many years as I can be a viable human being, but to leave this earth before the book is in certain people's hands is unthinkable. So I need to keep some semblance of reality about me. I need to post my poems on www.authorsden.com and comment on those who I like. I need to run my errands and be civil to my wife and those around me. I need to do all these things because it is the only way I will be able to deal with the book and all of its drama and tragedies and . . .

To reiterate what I said in the beginning of this post . . . FINALLY!!! I figured out a way to start the book . . . Later . . .

MY NOVELS:

My Mother's Revenge . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1132742

Margaret and David: A Love Story . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1072842

Write To Murder . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/956621