The idea of writing Misdemeanors & Felonies makes me feel like I am conducting my own hanging . . .
When you have this vision, this desire in your heart to do something, and you have it for something like forty years off and on, you tend to accumulate a LOT of material concerning it. Notes. Scribbles. Some that, by now, hardly make any sense. Still, they made sense back then, so I am obliged to incorporate these scribbles and half written sentences and some things which look like hieroglyphics into my research.
Even so, as I began to think about the task before me I shudder and wonder if I can really pull this off. So much happens in a person's life, especially one who has . . . wondered about like a gypsy, that the dates and places and events all seem to fuse into one another like so much melted butter. When I sit here and think about what is before me, I mean really think about it, it scares the hell outta me.
It does not deter me, however. I have my story I must tell, whether it will ever be read by anyone or not is beside the point. I must tell it. Why? That is the question, isn't it? Why do I want to lay my soul bare for the whole world to see and maybe even scoff at? Because, as I have said before, I can tell the story now. They are all accounted for. Also, I suppose I am selfish in the telling of the story, because I need to do it to ease my own heart and conscience. I'm not looking for redemption, except maybe, if at all possible, from my children some sense of understanding. If that is not forthcoming, the telling of the story still will not have been in vain. I need to do a little understanding about certain things in my life also, and I'm hoping that as I write the words to Misdemeanors & Felonies a sense of forgiveness concerning my own "growing up" problems can, if not be understood, at least be seen in a different light.
As far as I know, I am looking at least another week of "note collecting" before I can go on to the next phase of the project, that being making an outline of what happened when, where and why. The outline shouldn't take too long, probably only a few days. I don't plan a detailed outline because it will be useless. As I begin writing the story, my thought process will recall things I am sure I can't remember as I make the outline.
After the outline is done the actual writing of Misdemeanors and Felonies can truly begin. THAT scares the bejesus out of me . . . And excites me at the same time. The sensation of fear and excitement is sorta like someone lying on a beach with the lower portion of his body in the cool water and his upper body being stroked by the hot sun . . . Surreal . . . See you tomorrow . . .
My novels:
My Mother's Revenge . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1132742
Margaret and David: A Love Story . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1072842
Write To Murder . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/956621
When you have this vision, this desire in your heart to do something, and you have it for something like forty years off and on, you tend to accumulate a LOT of material concerning it. Notes. Scribbles. Some that, by now, hardly make any sense. Still, they made sense back then, so I am obliged to incorporate these scribbles and half written sentences and some things which look like hieroglyphics into my research.
Even so, as I began to think about the task before me I shudder and wonder if I can really pull this off. So much happens in a person's life, especially one who has . . . wondered about like a gypsy, that the dates and places and events all seem to fuse into one another like so much melted butter. When I sit here and think about what is before me, I mean really think about it, it scares the hell outta me.
It does not deter me, however. I have my story I must tell, whether it will ever be read by anyone or not is beside the point. I must tell it. Why? That is the question, isn't it? Why do I want to lay my soul bare for the whole world to see and maybe even scoff at? Because, as I have said before, I can tell the story now. They are all accounted for. Also, I suppose I am selfish in the telling of the story, because I need to do it to ease my own heart and conscience. I'm not looking for redemption, except maybe, if at all possible, from my children some sense of understanding. If that is not forthcoming, the telling of the story still will not have been in vain. I need to do a little understanding about certain things in my life also, and I'm hoping that as I write the words to Misdemeanors & Felonies a sense of forgiveness concerning my own "growing up" problems can, if not be understood, at least be seen in a different light.
As far as I know, I am looking at least another week of "note collecting" before I can go on to the next phase of the project, that being making an outline of what happened when, where and why. The outline shouldn't take too long, probably only a few days. I don't plan a detailed outline because it will be useless. As I begin writing the story, my thought process will recall things I am sure I can't remember as I make the outline.
After the outline is done the actual writing of Misdemeanors and Felonies can truly begin. THAT scares the bejesus out of me . . . And excites me at the same time. The sensation of fear and excitement is sorta like someone lying on a beach with the lower portion of his body in the cool water and his upper body being stroked by the hot sun . . . Surreal . . . See you tomorrow . . .
My novels:
My Mother's Revenge . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1132742
Margaret and David: A Love Story . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/1072842
Write To Murder . . . http://www.lulu.com/content/956621
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